FAUX NEWS- Genius Bratkowski disputed the charge that his play calling is predictable. "We will win the division at 8-8. It's all in the plan. Next week, the NFL will see shock and awe. They're going to see something special."

    Sideline reporter G. Burbank was able to get the following dialogue between Head Coach Lewis and QB Ryan Fitzpatrick. "Coach, where's the bases?  This is Americer's pahstime.  I was watching the Cincinnata Reds and thot Pete Rose guy.  I kept trying to head first slide like him and there's no bases."  "Fitzy, it's football, not baseball."  "What?  First, you tell me it's not Hahvard but Cincinnata, now we're playing football?"

   During the game, CB Jonathan Joseph was heard arguing with the head referee.  "Ref,  first you screwed Rashad Jeanty now me.  I put two hands on Walter.  He should be down. That's wrong. You're a bad, bad ref."  "Son, I keep telling you Ben-gals that it's tackle not two hand touch, not flag football." "That's so unfair, I hate these rules."

      After the game,  Head Coach Marvin Lewis was asked why they lost the game.  "They scored more points than us."

 Reported by Tung NCheek.