FAUX News-  "I wish I had a daughter marry Troy Blackburn," says an unamed NFL owner. "Mike Brown got a great football mind when his daughter married Blackburn.  My understanding they met at UC Law school. The school produced Chris Collinsworth, Troy and Katie Brown Blackburn.  Wow, that's a lot of football genius."    UC President Nancy Zimpher is very proud of UC Law School in producing such football minds.  "It's the purpose of the law school to produce the future football executive," says Zimpher.

    Meanwhile, reporter G. Burbank asked Bengals owner Mike Brown, what does vice president Troy Blackburn do.  "He's one of the five vice presidents we have.  You need five and four has got to be family.  It's like third string quarterbacks, you can't have enough of these guys."  When pressed, Brown replied, "Troy works in mysterious ways."  "You mean he's like God?"  Brown, "Sure, whatever."

    This just in.  The Bengals are interested in obtaining Giants WR Plaxico Burress.  "We're surprised that Chris Henry is not working out. The good thing about Plaxico is that he shot himself not someone else. It's hard to hold a gun and a drink. James Bond can do it but that's the movies," says Mike Brown.  "We think that if we can add Plaxico, he'll be a good influence on Chad Johnson, Jason Shirley and of course, Chris Henry."

Reported by Tung NCheek.