FAUX News- "There's a theme that Chris Henry is a punk.  That's not correct. So, he got a needless personal foul and on the interception, he gave up and watched the runback. That does not mean he is a punk. Look, he hasn't pulled a gun on someone in over two years, " says exasperated Bengals owner Mike Brown.  "I think what he needs is a friend. I'm going to look into getting his buddy from college, Pacman Jones. He should have a calming effect on him like that dog did to Seabiscuit. We're just a few quality players like these guys from winning two games next year."

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Reported by Tung NCheek

Check out the Blue Wisp Jazz Club for great live jazz. Wednesday is Big Band Night.  Take advantage of hearing a big band play jazz. I was there last night. It was hip and the band was cooking. You only get this great music in big cities. Jazz is America's Indigenous Art Form. Enjoy it at the Blue Wisp.  Here's their website. 

Okay, Babylonian here's the trailer for the new Star Trek Movie.  It's coming out in May of 2009.  It's about Kirk and Spock's early years.  Yes, you'll even see a young Scotty and Dr. McCoy.  Maybe Scotty will say, "I'm giving her all I can, Cap'n."  Or Dr. McCoy will say, "He's dead Jim."  Got to love the Alex Courage fanfare from the original series.  It makes you want to join NASA.  "Space, ... the final frontier..."  I can't wait. 

FAUX News-  "I wish I had a daughter marry Troy Blackburn," says an unamed NFL owner. "Mike Brown got a great football mind when his daughter married Blackburn.  My understanding they met at UC Law school. The school produced Chris Collinsworth, Troy and Katie Brown Blackburn.  Wow, that's a lot of football genius."    UC President Nancy Zimpher is very proud of UC Law School in producing such football minds.  "It's the purpose of the law school to produce the future football executive," says Zimpher.

    Meanwhile, reporter G. Burbank asked Bengals owner Mike Brown, what does vice president Troy Blackburn do.  "He's one of the five vice presidents we have.  You need five and four has got to be family.  It's like third string quarterbacks, you can't have enough of these guys."  When pressed, Brown replied, "Troy works in mysterious ways."  "You mean he's like God?"  Brown, "Sure, whatever."

    This just in.  The Bengals are interested in obtaining Giants WR Plaxico Burress.  "We're surprised that Chris Henry is not working out. The good thing about Plaxico is that he shot himself not someone else. It's hard to hold a gun and a drink. James Bond can do it but that's the movies," says Mike Brown.  "We think that if we can add Plaxico, he'll be a good influence on Chad Johnson, Jason Shirley and of course, Chris Henry."

Reported by Tung NCheek.

Here's the classic WKRP Thanksgiving episode.  As a holiday bonus, here's the episode where Johhny Fever's reflexes get better after drinking. I miss the seventies.  What?  You expect me to write about the Bengals and the Reds?

Here's the bonus episode, "Fish Story."