FAUX News-  Joe Namath, 65, led the Jets on the final scoring drive against the Bengals.  "We wanted to give the fans something special, to remind them of the glory days, " said coach Mangini. Faux News reporter G. Burbank asked the coach if it was dangerous sending Namath for Brett Favre.  "No.  First, our offensive line was able to block the Bengals front seven with one arm.  Then the Bengals went to their patented Choke Defense." "What' s that?"  "It's where the Bengals defense allows the offense late in the game to score the winning touchdown or put the game away."

    Bengals Defensive Coordinator Zimmer was heard saying, "We keep using the Choke Defense and we keep losting. I don't get it."   In a Faux News exclusive, reporter G. Burbank was able to record the following dialogue between Jets QB Namath and Coach Mangini.  Namath: "Let me in the game coach.  I know I can out run their dbs  One more moment of glory." Mangini: "Okay, but don't run. You might hurt the Bengals linebackers, besides I know why you really want to go out there."  Namath: "Gee coach, you got me.  After we score, I want to kiss Suzy Kolber."  

     Burbank was also able to record the following dialogue between Bengals Special Teams coach  Simmons and punt returner Antonio Chatman.  Simmons: "Tony, put your heels on the ten.  If it goes over your head, let it go. Now, go and field that punt"   Chatman: " Okay coach.  Here comes the punt.  I'm on the three yard line.  What did the coach tell me to do?  What comes after three?  One.... Two... Three..."    Simmons: "Let the !#$%% ball go Tony!"    Chatman: "One... Two.... Three... Ten.  Fair catch."    

     Burbank also got this exclusive sideline chatter between coordinator Zimmer and corner David Jones. Jones: " Coach, theyr're cheating."  Zimmer: "How's that?"  Jones: "They're not wearing any flags so we can record a stop."  Zimmer: "Um... Dave, it's tackle football, not flag football."  Jones: "So, that's what I'm doing wrong."

      The Bengals'  losing has also effected the presidential campaign.  During last week's debate, Sen. John McCain was seen aimlessly wandering the stage.  Faux News can now report that it was because he put money on the Bengals to win.  He was overheard saying, "First Palin, now I bet on the Bungles to win.  Have I lost my maverick mind?"   However, the Huffington Post has compiled this video claiming to show the real reasons for his wandering.  Faux News being fair has linked it for you.  Here is the video.

Reported by Tung NCheek.   

Here's the SNL parody of Tuesday's presidential debate. Check out Bill Murray's sports question. You'll love it, Reds fan.

Jason Cole of Yahoo Sports lists the following Bengals that could be traded by the deadline.  It stinks being a Bengals fan.  Here's the article.  Let the firesale begin.  Move Odom and replace him with Frostee Rucker.  Goodbye Ocho Cinco, hello criminal Chris Henry.  See ya T.J., hello Jerome Simpson.  It's going to be a long season.

Here's the SNL skit with Tina Fey as a our favorite point guard, Sarah Palin.  It's a spoof of last thursday's debate.

Hey Joe Sixpack, MAVERICK!

FAUX NEWS-  "The plan is to lose 16 games, then we get the top pick.  We'll pick the guy with the worst character. With the top pick we should be able to chose from the draft, the most despicable player. That's the advantage," says Bengals owner Mike Brown.  "It's also important that we use a high pick to back up Jordan Palmer, our third string QB.  See most fans don't understand football.  We will win the Super Bowl in 2060.  Cincinnati sports fans are in for a real treat, because that's when the Reds are going to win the World Series.  Of course, if Jesus comes back, that could be a problem."   

     Faux News reporter G. Burbank was able to record the following sideline dialogue during the Cowboys game between Defensive Coordinator Mike Zimmer and DT Domata Peko.

Peko:  "Coach, we can't get to the QB or their running back because Cowboy players keep getting in the way."  Zimmer: "That's called blocking."   Peko: "No way.  Next thing you'll tell me is that we're allowed to tackle."  Zimmer: "I quit."

Reported by Tung Ncheek, Faux News.