Happy birthday coach!

Brett Favre has a home, and I can finally sleep at night.

You know, it was so difficult for me the last couple of weeks wondering just what would happen with Brett Favre. I haven't been able to sleep, I haven't been able to eat, I've just sat with a blank stare wondering just what would happen with the most important figure in the world today. Not since Brittany had her court issues have I been so worried.

I'm appaled the Green Bay Favres didn't just allow Favre to come back and play center and quarterback so he could lead the team to another Favre Bowl trophy.

Luckily, the New Favre Jets had enough sense to grasp Favre from Green Bay and finally give Favre the big stage he deserves after toiling in anonymity for so long.

Now, instead of having to travel all the way to Green Bay, which is way out past Canada and braving the 385 days a year of 12-foot snow, the national media types can just jump in their Favremobiles and see Favre in Old Favre (which, although the team name is New Favre, the team is based across the Favre River in Old Favre) and drool on him daily as opposed to a measley once a week.

We, as a nation, celebrate this event with a new national holiday -- Favremas, which, unlike traditional holidays, will be an entire week before the first Jets preseason game (or whatever team Favre decides to honor with his presence). So, don't go to work the next week, because even though Favre could play tonight, what would the fun of Favre playing be without the week-long build up?

Mazal Favre!