On my way to the game tonight I realized that I had bought tickets that were in the corner by the Braves dugout. Contemplated buying Diamond Seats (usually spend $100 on food and adult beverages anyway). 

Instead, I opted for a scout seat (22, B,1). Boy was I glad. Usually I don't concern myself with the Diamond Seats, except to check out the servers. But tonight, being tow rows back, I got the chance to observe just how the "fans" that occupy seats behave.

The fun started right away. Two, let's just say not quite fully dressed young ladies, sampled nearly every seat . They were up and moving after nearly every pitch. Another pair of Kentucky girls (you just know), were just as active, getting up after nearly a few pitches and disappearing into to lower reaches of the Diamond Club, only to reappear, fully loaded, in another section.

Now if there is one thing that bothers me, it's the genius that has to get up every couple of outs and goes who knows where. Only to come back during a meaningful plate appearance.

Anyway, back to the Diamond Club. It seems that it;s just a poser-fest, people wanting to be seen, holding their phone to their ear and waving to God knows who. And it's nearly everyone in the section. You can tell. They're the one that go to the bar when it's first and second in the bottom of the 11th inning tied at 2-2. Don't they have servers? Yes they do, I've already mentioned them.

But the coup de grace, it the loud, fat guy. Chris Farley's dead, and this guy wants to replace him. He's up after every pitch, yelling, high-fiving and belittling the guy with Francouer jersey. He stands more than he sits, spends more time out of the row than in, and in what I thought was the crown jewel, he does a shot, with another "fan" during the bottom of the ninth. It was then, finally, one of the security guys had a chat with him. If I paying $230 to sit behind this guy, I saying it after the first out.

And just for the record, most of them were gone by the time the game ended.

They should require two tests before issuing Diamond Level Seats tickets -- a baseball IQ test and a Brethalyzer.

Now I've sat in the Diamond Club seats before, and the worst thing I had to deal with was the guy with the cell phone waving to the entire stadium. Every inning.

I'll tell you though, free beer and hot dogs and nachos good. The pre-game buffett, not so good. I live in the land of the buffet, and the Diamond club buffet ranks even behind Circus Circus. But it does rank ahead of the Buffet at the Lexus Club at PNC Park. Where legend has it I actually asked Wayne Krivskey for my money back.