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Block UserDALE SVEUM
HERE'S HOW WE'RE KILLING THREE HOURS TODAY
-How disgusting would it have been had Junior dropped that second ball last night. I legitimately might have called in sick.
-How disgusting was Adam Dunn's effort on the ball the third base last night?
-On Junior, is he the ultimate symbol of disappointment and frustration in Cincinnati sports? Might not be fair. Might not be his fault. But he is.
-Gonna bring up something that no one else has. It's pretty novel. Anyway, I think Jay Bruce should come up. I know, I know, I'm really thinking out of the box. But at this point, is there anyone left who's against this?
-LeBron James' dunk.
-If you've just turned 21, your female, and enjoying your first ever ballpark beer, please do not sit in the moon deck.
-Heckling. Specifically, getting an athlete to yell something back. Saw Junior do it last night, and it was pretty funny. It was actually in the direction of the girl I just mentioned.
-Miami and UC not playing hoops is not = Ohio State not playing UC at PBS.
-The idea of Shaun Alexander as a Bengals has me thinking of some of these guys. Can we put together a list of players and teams who never should have been?
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LeBRON JAMES.
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WATCH MY DUMB LITTLE VIDEO
You might have to pause for a bathroom break, or even a nap. Jus****ch the damn thing.
LANCE McCULLERS
IN CASE YOU WEREN'T AWARE
Debbie Gibson is still rather attractive.
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AUDRINA FROM "THE HILLS" WANTS TO GO INTO THE BLUE
I typed something blatantly inappropriate in response, then decided I like getting a check twice a month so I didn't. Read about Audrina. Or just look at the pictures.
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EVEN THOUGH IT'S 2008 AND CALENDARS ARE USELESS
Kim Kardashian decided to make one. Thought you'd like to know.
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DEAR WALT JOCKETTY
Please read this.
"I’ve let it be known to general managers in the big leagues that money is not an issue. I don’t want them thinking it is," he said. "I’m ready to bounce whenever somebody calls. I’ll have my bags packed in 10 minutes."
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BILL O'REILLY SEEMS LIKE A FUN GUY TO WORK WITH
I'm not allowed to post the video. I'm not even allowed to post the direct link to the video. But I can tell you to go to Barstool Sports and find Bill O'Reilly acting like the complete **** we knew he was.
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RADIO SHOW! MONDAY! 9AM! TOPICS!
-If Marvin Lewis allowed the punting unit to go out on the field on thir down, we'd kill him (not literally). We'd go on and on about how ill-prepared and non-focused the Bengals were. And justifyably so. Why then, would we not hammer Dusty Baker and the Reds for batting out of order in the ninth inning? That no one caught that is inexcuseable and an indictment on this teams lack of focus.
-We'll string together a list of things Dusty had his mind on in the ninth inning. You remember how much he like single malt scotch? He's a big hunter! His love of jazz bars! Maybe he was thinking about that new Dave Koz CD.
-Matt Belisle hasn't been here for 16 years, it only feels like it. The light ain't coming on. Why do we keep waiting for it to?
-Wanna know why Ryan Freel can't play everyday? Go look at his baserunning antics down by five runs in the seventh inning.
-FireJoeMorgan.com is one of my favorite sports blogs. Ken Tremendous is one of the creators and joins us live. Ken's real name is Mike Schur, and his real job is as a writer on "The Office." We'll talk Joe Morgan, Dusty Baker, and Jenna Fischer with Ken. The premise of their blog is obviously the fact that Joe Morgan drives them nuts. Which sports media personalities drive you insane?
-Sports blogs. I love them. Many "traditional" journalists hate them. This "Costas Now "HBO special was the talk of the sports blogging community last week (careful, language). In it, Buzz Bissinger, of "Friday Night Lights" fame, goes after Will Leitch of Deadspin.com. You taking a side on this? Got a favorite sports blog you frequent?
-Sending Johnny Cueto to the minors is stupid.
-What was the point of Shaun Alexander coming to town last week?
-OJ Mayo took cash and improper gifts while at North College Hill!!!! No way. This is stunning. This is like finding out that JM J. Bullock was gay. Is there anyone who attended NCH who has an ounce of pride in their alma mater winning those state titles while OJ was there? Doesn't that whole era make you wanna go take a bath?
-Speaking of OJ Mayo....you probably hate the NBA. I don't really understand why. The NBA is deserving of your attention, but ain't gonna get it. But I assume you like college basketball. You probably also support the NBA's age limit. Why? Doesn't OJ Mayo highlight why the age limit is such a silly idea? This dude had no place in college hoops. Don't players like him scum up the game worse than it is? Isn't it more fun to root for a team like Xavier had this year? Or even a guy like Tyler Hansbrough?
-Admit it, if you hear this song one more time, you're gonna actively entertain slicing your ears off.
-Carlos Holmes, I'm disappointed...
Henry is a young man with a caring heart, and that has been his ultimate downfall.
Yeah, tell that to anyone in the crosshairs of the gun he pointed, or to the parents of the 15 year old kid he was boozing it up with (actually, good luck finding them), or to the valet worker at Newport on the Levee.
-If the Cyclones win the Kelly Cup, does the city have to throw them a parade? Isn't this a good opportunity to make sure we're properly prepared for the parade that we'll have for upcoming World Series and Super Bowl championships?
KEN OBERKFELL
I'M ALL ABOUT PROMOTING FITNESS
And I'm all about Elisabeth Hasselbeck in Fitness Magazine.
(Thanks to 700WLW's Rich Walburg, who also has some Eva Mendes goodness)
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I HAVE NO IDEA WHO THIS PERSON IS
But she's tremendous.
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MORE LOVE FOR THE OAK-MAN
This is the type of cooking show I can get behind.
Ingredients for Oak's beef short ribs in cinnamon wine sauce include 18 beers and two or three Cuban cigars, and the directions begin, "Drink 10 beers."
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RICHARD JEFFERSON, WELCOME TO THE CLUB
The famous people who dropped "Do you know who I am?" club.
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AH, SAM ADAMS
Leave it to the worst sports owner in Cincinnati history and the worst Bengals free agent signee ever to provide us with some comic relief.
"I can still dominate," Adams said."That's what I plan on doing."
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CRAP WE'RE GONNA TALK ABOUT TODAY
-Do the Bengals have ugly uniforms? Pro Football Talk thinks they do. I own two jerseys, yet I kinda agree. Those unis are busy.
-Dusty made Volquez throw 118 pitches. So?
-Mandicaps. Barack Obama got me thinking about this when he bowled a 37. You should be able to roll better than a 37. But a friend of mine says he can't bust 50. He just can't bowl. Unreal. Anyway, things most guys can do that you can't.
-Early commitments. Eighth graders committing to UK. A coaches' group is concerned. Should they be?
-Remember when there used to be good sports books?
-Anyone ever execute a successful gas drive-off? I legitimately thought about it yesterday.
-Mr. Redlegs lost his head yesterday. Horrifying. Video of a baby sucking on a beer bottle at a minor league game surfaced this week. What the oddest thing you've seen at the ballpark (besides a Reds win)?
-Former Red Josh Hamitlon joins us.
-The Reds don't play tonight. Both LeBron James and Chris Paul do. You should watch.
-Oh, and I forgot yesterday to post the quality veteran of the week. Patricia Heaton.
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HORRIFYING SCENE AT THE BALLPARK YESTERDAY
Mr Redlegs gets decapitated.
MARVELL WYNNE
MORE THAN MEETS THE EYE!
When I was eight I had three
loves....baseball, McKenzie Melhoff, and transformers. Baseball remains
a passion. McKenzie leveled off around age 12, and last I saw her, she
was approaching two bills and changing schools when we were 15, and my
interest in Transformers peaked at age nine, being surpassed by
Starting Lineup baseball figures and video games at age ten. I hadn't
given them much thought since, with the exception of the movie, which I
liked. I wasn't aware that there was a Transformers convention,
but when I found out there was, and heard it was coming to the Duke
Energy Center, I had to check it out. So enjoy my rather lengthy and
poorly edited video of my first ever BotCon.
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WANNA APPLY FOR THE NBA DRAFT?
This is how you, at age 30, and with zero qualifications, can do it.
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ACTUALLY, NO DUSTY. IT IS WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE
From John Fay's blog...
And when you’re not hitting, it makes it look like you’re lethargic and not playing and not trying, and that’s not the case. But that’s what it looks like,” Baker said.
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FOUL BALLS ARE MORE INTERESTING THAN THE REDS
What's proper foul ball etiquette? Are you obligated to give one to a kid? Is it ok to mug for the camera if you catch one on about six bounces? Is it cool for a 30 year old to bring a glove? We'll discuss today.
(Thanks to Reds Zone for the idea)
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FORMER BUCKEYE MIGHT BE THE WORST PERSON WHO EVER LIVED
Darrion Scott has an interesting way of playing with his kid.
According to various media reports, Scott allegedly was holding a bag over his young son’s head, tight against the boy’s neck. The child is under four years old.
Speaking of child abuse, this blog says if you let your kid grow up rooting for the Bengals, you're kind of like Darrion.
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REASON #981 I'M ATTENDING NEXT YEAR'S DERBY
Women like Tara Conner attend.
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MIKE BROWN ONCE BEAT THE IRS
So I'm thinking this blogger sued by the Bengals stands no chance.
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CHANNEL 64? HELLO?
Please put Chick Fight TV on.
TIM PUGH
ONE GOOD THING THAT COMES OUT OF THE DERBY TRAGEDY
We get to see a lot of Jeannine Edwards on ESPN. Also, I get to spend an afternoon answering angry e-mails.
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OAK.
I have a list of my favorite 20 athletes of all-time. One day, I'll get around to posting the entire list (right after about 73 other projects I'm half-assed working on for this blog), which I'm sure the entire tri-state is holding it's collective breath for me to share. It's a fluid list. For instance, Jose Reyes comes off and on the list on just about a weekly basis. Johnny Cueto is on the list, but by 9:00 tonight, could come off the list.
Anyway, there are a few ironclad locks to always be on the list....Bernard King (I refuse to acknowledge the existence of the basketball Hall of Fame until Bernard is in), Dominique Wilkins (the great thing about the Celtics-Hawks series was we got to see a whole bunch of 'Nique flashbacks), Mooke Wilson, Jeff Query, Corey Dillon (On October 22, 2000 Corey Dillon won me $200. He could do no wrong after that), Josh Hamilton, Mike Piazza, and Charles Oakley. Simply put, Charles Oakley is my hero. If you're one of the 7 people that follow the NBA, you understand. Whether it was providing the muscle on the 1994 Knicks, being MJ's wingman, or being an active NBA player who owned car washes, The Oak -man embodied cool unlike any athlete since.
So why I am I going on and on about Oak? Three reasons: 1) he's got a cooking show, 2) he trashed Isiah Thomas, and 3) one of my new favorite blogs put up a post about him. There are a few concrete truths about this blog. One of them is that you put up a post about Oak, I link to it.
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UH, YEAH I'LL BE ATTENDING THE DERBY NEXT YEAR
Tell me this doesn't look fun.
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MARIAH CAREY DECIDED TO BE HOT AGAIN
Which is nice.
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THINGS I BET YOU CAN'T DO
Read this and tell me your eyes didn't well up.
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JUST CUT 'EM OFF AND HAND 'EM OVER
I found this pathetic picture in this otherwise mediocre collection of ladies of the Kentucky Derby.
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"LA LA LA LA LA FONTAINE!"
Puckboy calls my show all the time with his Stanley Cupdate. He's also been pestering me to post his interview with NHL great Pat LaFontaine. Sadly despite being teammates with Mick Vukota, the greatest hockey player of all-time Puckboy does not ask him about playing with Mick. He does however share some great stories, makes some bad playoff predictions, and talks abotu a very cool charity he's involved in. Enjoy.
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COOLEST MOFO EVER
Bill Bramanti will be buried in his Pabst Blue Ribbon-themed coffin. Which if he keeps drinking PBR will probably happen sooner rather than later.
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REASON #8541 I WISH I WAS AN ATHLETE
If I went to a club where Miss Kentucky USA was holding it down and I asked her to do whatever she is doing with Randy Moss, I would get roughed up by her handlers. Randy Moss does it, and it's not only ok, but he's the man for making it happen.
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I'M GONNA DO A RADIO SHOW TODAY.
And here's what I'll discuss...
-32 games in, and Dusty had already played his "team meeting" card.
-Does it matter who bats where? The players are no good. It's like eating a Golden Corral. The entire spread sucks. Doesn't matter if you grab the salibury steak first or runny pudding, you're having a bad meal regardless.
-We've blamed the GM, blamed Bronson's guitar, and dissected the batting order. Up next of course, is blaming Dunn and Junior, then we'll bemoan the lack of leadership, and finally blame the manager. Is there anything more predictable than a baseball season in Cincinnati?
-A horse dies at the Derby. I think there's nothing wrong with the sport, but if two UFC fighters died within three years at premier events, how loud would the outcry be to shut it down?
-My friend admitted to me he has the Miley Cyrus song in his IPOD.
-Every year at the Flying Pig, someone has a heart attack. I slept until 11:30 yesterday and my ticker is working. Running and fitness are overrated.
-Gonna be a lot of Cubs fans here this week. Why does that bother you? They wanna come here and spend money, and put atmosphere in our ballpark? Bring it on.
-What type of human being would wear this?
-Speaking of the WNBA, they're trying to get their players to get all hotted-up. Do female athletes need to be hot to succeed? Isn’t it better to be hot and mediocre at a sport than the best of the best?
When will someone step up to carry the ugly banner? It won't be this woman.
