DON'T THINK JESUS DIDN'T TAKE AN OCCASIONAL BREAK

The "Thank God for Alcohol" Church Festival Tour takes a break this week, since community fireworks gatherings are lame and I'll be blowing stuff up in the back yard, which is what the founding fathers intended. But it gears back up next weekend with two stops....

Friday, July 11th: Miami Township Midsummer at the Meadows. OK, so not a church festival, but we had to have a stop for any atheiests, and they have beer. Plus, Loverboy is performing so may get a chance to see Lance turn into a hot mess as his favorite band takes the stage.

Sunday, July 13th: We hit our first Northern Kentucky fest, when we roll up to the Immaculate Heart of Mary festival in Burlington, where they'll also have beer.

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QUALITY VETERAN OF THE WEEK
And one of two glaring omissions from the Top 153 (Deborah Gibson was the other), Andie MacDowell turned 50 this year, earning her Senior Tour card. Sadly, her best work since Groundhog Day has come in makeup commercials.

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223 HOT CHICKS AND SIX HOURS OF ME.
Too much of a siss to blow stuff up this weekend? Lucky for you, I still have stuff for you to kill some time as we celebrate America's birthday....

1) My Top 153 for 2008. Perhaps the most controversial thing to ever hit the internet. My wife is offering daily spite-filled critiques of the 153 on her blog.

2) Along similar lines, though funnier, is Rich Walburg's Showbiz 70.

3) Listen to 700WLW tomorrow from 4:30 - 8:00, then Saturday from 3:00 - 6:00. I'm on. Maybe the single biggest reason to be thankful we won the Revolutionary War, as there's no chance any English King would permit me to be on the radio.

4) Prepare to be crushed on Monday morning, because I'm not on. Too ease the pain, Nick Brunker fills in until 11:00, when the Blogging Blondes take over.

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KENTON COUNTY MUGSHOT OF THE WEEK CONTEST
Had to have two this week, since we had to do last week's contest this week (Emily Alexander won last week, for the gallery of each week's winners, go here.) Anyway, this week's contest is a blood battle as we have either husband vs. wife, brother vs. sister, or likely, both. The contestants....

James Deaver

Linda Deaver

This is going to be close. Will James be the first man to crack our group of weekly winners? Is there a chance Linda could be a man, and thus the first guy. E-mail your picks to mo@1530homer.com. Each weekly winner will have a chance to square off in the "Kenton County Mugshot of the Year Finals" in December.

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IS THIS WOMAN WORSE THAN MICHAEL VICK?

From The Oklahoman (Oklahoma? No way!)....

TULSA — A woman who was charged with committing felony crimes against nature was arrested this morning after police were notified of more than 150 homemade movies of the Tulsa County woman engaging in various sex acts with dogs.

Two things.....

1) Her accomplice's name is " Roy Seigfried." Just outstanding.

2) A year ago, we were all up in arms about Michael Vick and his dogfighting. An awful crime. But I really think what he did pales in comparison to the dogs in this case being forced to have sex with this dirtbag. How could those dogs even begin to look at themselves in the mirror after being violated like that. Imagine if you had to live with the knowledge that you hooked up with this woman. At least you had a choice. What about the dogs? Where's the outrage here?

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BECAUSE 14 YEAR GIRLS ARE THE ONLY ONES WHO TAKE HIM SERIOUSLY
Chad Johnson is on MTV's TRL right now.

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HERE'S SOMETHING YOU DON'T SEE EVERYDAY
No, it's not someone who thinks Craig Ferguson is funny, it's the use of the word "architect" the name "Jim Bowden" used together.

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WHO AMONG US CAN'T RELATE TO THIS GUY?

From the Dayton Daily News....

According to police, a woman at the house said Conley stabbed himself because he was upset they had run out of alcohol.

This guy obviously needs help. While in no way do I support who would assault a member of law enforcement, I can relate to Billy's plight. Therefore, I am offering him the chance to be our guest of honor at an upcoming church festival. I may actually hold a fundraiser for this dude so the lack of alcohol doesn't cause him to resort to such extreme measures ever again.

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AM RADIO MAGIC.

-Sometimes I wish I was older, because I grew up on the fringe of the era of the overprotective parent. This means if you're older than me (30), you probably had more fun with fireworks and other explosives that I'll ever have. It's a shame. Got any fun stories about blowing stuff up?

-As one National League scout said of the Reds, "That's a very low-energy team." Wonderful.

-Many in the blogging world are pissed at Joe Buck for these comments. Can someone explain what was so wrong about what he said. OK, maybe if I'm Bud Selig I don't need my sport's signature voice saying this, but what was so wrong about it?

-I know Bruce had a big night in the leadoff spot last night, but when Jerry Hairston is coming off three straight two hit games, and is giving your offense something no one else is how do you not play him?

-I'm a Bob Huggins fan, but by the time this happens, Huggs will have already coached against UC, coached a game in Cincinnati, and faced Xavier in the NCAA tournament. After this, will we finally be able to cut the cord?

-Doesn't this happen in every workplace?

-Uncle Sam will be handing out our show stickers at the Kenwood Mall today.

-Uh-huh.

-If this is true, and a huge part of me doubts that it is, this guy supplants Bob Kemp as my hero in this industry.