SOMETIMES, AMERICA SUCKS.
Eva Mendes made a commercial for something that's apparently far too risque for US audiences.  For more, check out my man Rich Walburg's page at 700WLW.com.

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FINALLY, THE INTERNET IS USEFUL.
Naked pictures of Anne Hathaway are going to surface soon. Not since Bel Biv Devoe's sophomore album have I looked forward to anything with such excitement.

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MEET PERHAPS THE WORST PERSON EVER
A Utah man is in trouble for "football-kicking" his 18th month-old. Sad thing is, I know many who would more than embrace giving this kid a tryout.

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SMOY!
Our 13th stop on the Thank God for Alcohol Church Festival Tour takes us to Loveland for the St. Margaret of York Festival this Friday. We'll have the usual stuff, beer, food, music, gambling, and more. Plus, Xavier great Steve Wolf has offered to humiliate me shooting free throws. Be there, say 7:00? And you know the drill, be the first seen in our shirt, win a funnel cake. Be there.

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BOWLING FOR A GREAT CAUSE

My man Randy in the 1530Homer sales department has a cause important to him and his family. If it's important to Randy, it's important to me.

An Evening of Bowling with Roman, Family and Friends

Friday, August 15, 2008
7:00-11:00 pm

Del-Fair Bowling Lanes
5255 Delhi Avenue
Cincinnati, OH

Adults $15.00 ~ Kids $5.00 (4 & under)

Price includes unlimited bowling and shoe rental
Prize Raffle, Split the Pot, and More!

Roman Fariello is an adorable, 2 ½ year old little boy diagnosed with Neuroblastoma stage IV on April 25, 2007. This is a rare cancer of the nervous system striking about 600 children in the U.S. per year. Roman is blessed with a loving family consisting of a sister Sheridan and parents Jody and Mike Fariello. Since Roman’s diagnosis, he has been playing the very difficult hand he was dealt by receiving intensive chemotherapy, a bone marrow transplant/stem cell rescue, localized radiation and six cycles of maintenance oral chemotherapy. Roman and his family could not have made it this far without your loving support for him. Roman’s immediate future consists of speech therapy twice a month and numerous scans/tests every three months for the next two years. Although the future looks bright for Roman being “NED” (No Evidence of Disease), there is a high relapse rate for Neuroblastoma. Please help to support all of Roman’s current and future expenses.

For more info, call 859-283-8651, or check out rescueroman.org

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THIS IS WHY YOU WANT TO BECOME AN MMA FIGHTER
Patrycja Mikula's name looks like an eye chart. She's dating Ultimate Fighter Andrei Arlovski, and she's tremendous.

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LISTEN.

-Hold training camp in Cincinnati, because this trend isn't reversing anytime soon.

-Do you get the feeling that we are nearing the end of the Ahmad Brooks experiment?

-There's a lot of people on this planet that I feel sorry for, a man claiming to be too fat to be executed is not one of them.

-Eric Ghiacic remains #1 on the depth chart, but don't you get the feeling the team just doesn't have much faith in him at center? Whether it's his size or whatever intangibles he may lack, doesn't it seem like there's a been a lot more dicussion than usual about other alternatives at that position?

-Chad Johnson spoke to the media after practice last night. He was back on the practice field last night. If you handed in your Chad jersey, burned your 85 stuff, you regretting it? You getting some more?

-If you pay $10,000 for jeans, you should be get a beat-down.

-Fight in the Brewers dugout at GABP last night. On the surface, not good, but isn't there a part of you that would love to see the same type of fire in the home dugout? Obviously, we don't need Joey Votto going after say, Josh Fogg, but wouldn't you love to see something close to the same type of fire from the Reds?

-We often get into the "Is this a baseball town or a football town?" debate. Bill Koch asks if because the lack of success from the pro teams, if we're actually more of a college sports town. Are UC football and hoops, and XU basketball worth looking forward to more and investing emotionally in more than either the Reds or Bengals?

-My producer is an MMA blogger for the Baltimore Sun. He has a chance to cover an MMA event at the Playboy Mansion. He is actually on the fence about going. His fiancee wants to go with him, which is just a terrible move. Please help me convince him to go.

-OK, the Teen Choice Awards are a farce.

-Note to my friends: If I ever use the word "bromance" in describing our friendships or anything we do together, I give you permission to stab me in the face.