"I HAVE BEEN PITYING FOO'S FOR 28 YEARS, BILL."
Enjoy Mr. T explaining to Bill O'Reilly why he called Rowdy Roddy Piper a disgrace at the first Wrestlemania and what the phrase "get some nuts" means.
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JESSICA ALBA WORKS A CHAIR LIKE DUSTY BAKER WORKS A TOOTHPICK
Fortunately, she works chairs better than he works on his lineup card. Or his postgame interviews. Or the back massages he gives Corey Patterson after games.
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THE DREAM TEAM REMEMBERED
Pardon me while I'm on this US men's hoops kick, but the guys at Uncoached give the original Dream Team some love. The 1992 Summer Olympics went down when I was 14, when it was maybe coolest time to be an NBA fan. I was a huge Dream Team guy, even though they got the roster wrong. Dominique WIlkins remains an inexcuseable snub, and was about 76,000 times the player that Chris Mullin was. Christian Laettner had no place on that roster either, whereas Reggie Miller, Kevin Johnson, Tim Haradaway did. Hell, if you were gonna go with a college guy, Shaq was a more deserving choice. I think I watched just about every Dream Team game at my buddy Aaron's house that summer, and we still talk about that team more than just about any other subject to this day, which may be the most pathetic thing of all time. Anyway, enjoy the look back.
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YOU KNOW TO ROOT WORD OF FESTIVAL? FESTIVE!
Two festivals this weekend, one tomorrow as we hit up the St. Margaret of York festival in Loveland. Sunday, we hit Fairfield for the Sacred Heart festival. I hope, no, I demand that you show up. If you don't, I'm going to just assume you hate America.
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MEET NINEL CONDE
Ninel is a Mexican actress, who has appeared on Telemundo a bunch of times, as well as Ugly Betty, which looks awful. Ninel, however, is anything but.
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HAS ANYONE SEEN EX-BENGAL SAM ADAMS?
I think this Olympian may have swallowed her. Enjoy her and some other exceptionally scary Olympic athletes.
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AH, SEC FOOTBALL
There was a time in my life where I'd read the following....
An Irvington cage fighter accused of inciting a brawl at an Auburn University fraternity house by yelling "Roll Tide" admitted Wednesday to bribing a retarded man to claim responsibility for injuries suffered by the brothers in the melee.
....and be completely taken aback. Stunned. Just beside myself. This is not that time.
(Thanks to Deadspin)
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THIS COMMERCIAL IS COOL
I know I might be one of a select few who actually cares on Olympic men's hoops. I like basketball, and anything that gives us hoops in the offseason can't be a bad thing. And I know I buck the trend and I actually really want the US Squad to succeed, simply so I don't have to hear the same overplayed myths that we heard when the United States failed to win the gold in '04. But even if you don't care, when you mix hoops with the greatest rendition of the National Anthem of all-time, you have to agree, it makes for one damn cool commercial.
(Thanks to Awful Announcing)
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DOES KELLY RIPA NEED TO EAT SOMETHING?
Got the following e-mail from Lance after Kelly appeared on Letterman Tuesday night....
Tell me you saw it??????
Kelly Ripa on Lettermen last night. I made a point to watch.
I'll never look at her the same way again. Appeared to weigh 71 pounds Bones sticking out. Had to turn it off.
Didn't see it, though usually a Letterman-Ripa combo would be appointment viewing in my house.. I did find these pictures of her arriving at the Ed Sullivan theatre, and while I'm certainly not in a position to turn down Kelly Ripa, one of my favorites would be well served by a couple of trips to the buffet. 
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THREE HOURS OF RADIO GENIUS.
-Homer Bailey is still only 22, right?
-I might be the only person who doesn't think the Brett Favre deal is an absolute home run for the Jets.
-My question throughout most of last season was "Is there a guy on the Bengals defense who leaves the opposing offensive coordinator awake at night worrying?" If we ask the same question a month from the opener, what's the answer?
-Maybe it shouldn't, but the fact that the cyclists who showed up in Beijing with masks on had to apologize pisses me off.
-I'd take him, but Chad Pennington is not going to be the Bengals backup QB.
-You hear some talking about how Britney Spears is "back." I would disagree.
