JOHN EDWARDS CHEATED ON HIS WIFE FOR THIS???
Never underestimate the stupidity and scumbagability of politicians, no matter the party. Nice work, John.

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DUSTY BAKER HAS OFFICIALLY LOST ME.
I love Jay Bruce. He is undeniably a cornerstone of this franchise. But after his silly error and absolute idiocy on the basepaths last night, I'd put Francisco Cordero in right field before Jay Bruce tonight. Not my man Bakes, who has Bruce in right, batting third. Amazing.

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IS THERE ANY CHANCE EITHER OF THESE GUYS HAVE EVER WON A FIGHT?
This looks like a training video for child abductors trying to fend off unwilling kids kicking them in the shin.

Self Defense Dorks - Watch more free videos

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OLYMPICS. DAMN STRAIGHT.
There's no better way to kick off my Olympic coverage than with a blurry picture of America's greatest Olympian ever, basketball hall of famer and the third greatest Knick of all-time (bonus points if you can name the first two) Patrick Ewing, pictured with Larry Bird, whose inclusion on the Dream Team was questionable and David Robinson.


I've always had a love/hate relationship with the Olympics. They are usually shrouded in controversy and politics have overshadowed them since their beginnings. I hate the rules that allow athletes to effectively become Olympic free agents, giving them the chance to represent countries they have little or no ties to. Doping and performance enhancing drugs have become a part of the daily conversation as we lead up to the games, but such things haven't turned us off on other sports, so why pretend that we care about cheating by Olympic athletes. Corrupt judges have clouded the games. I still haven't seen a bigger injustice than that suffered by Roy Jones Jr. at the 1988 games, and the 2002 skating controversy was a total farce.

In many ways, the Olympics are a holdover from another era, when the Cold War pitted the US against the Soviets. We worked up bile and disgust for them. Such hatred doesn't exist anymore. It's too bad Pittsburgh can't have an Olympic team. We all hate people from Pittsburgh. Hatred for all things Pittsburgh could galvanize the world. We like to think of our athletes working their entire lives to represent the United States. That is important to them, just not as high on the list as endorsements, sponsorship requirements, partying in the host city, and movie and TV opportunities that come with Olympic glory.

The Olympics you knew as a kid wouldn't work. Remember when you would watch the events on tape delay? Your blackberry or iPhone ain't allowing that to happen.

Still, I'm kinda stoked about the Olympics. I like sports. Like C. Trent, I like competition. I like goofy sports like the trampoline. I think it's cool that someone spend their entire life playing badminton, and for two weeks, gets to play it on the world stage. I like the fact the the word "shuttlecock" will be used on American cable television while I'm watching that sport. I like watching people bite it. A diver cracking his head on the diving board, a gymnast, particularly a male one, falling off the balance beam, anyone screwing up royally = quality entertainment. The Olympics provide a ton of compelling human interest stories, like the one of the guy carrying the American flag at the glorfied halftime show Opening Ceremonies. I'm a sucker for stuff like that.

Know what I like most of all about the Olympics? We're good at them. By "we" I mean the United States. Simply put, we dominate the games. Right now, when the rest of the world hates us, when many in our own country do everything they can to make us feel bad about being American, is there anything better than treating the rest of the world the way Jeremi Johnson treats plate of cheese fries? No. We need two straight weeks of feeling good about ourselves. Lord knows the next couple of months we'll have two organized crime families political parties browbeating us about how miserable America is. In the meantime, let's kick the hell out of France in something.

We're in a dead time. Quick, name one thing interesting right now about the Reds. Come on, just one. You can't. The three-headed catching monster of Ross, Bako, and Valentin? Not interesting. The Olympics offer up interesting things on a nightly basis. OK, maybe I can't name one right now, but whatever they are, they're more compelling than Corey Patterson's pursuit of his .200 batting average. The Bengals have some preseason games in the next month, and we'll welcome football's return, but can you really tell me you're intrigued by who emerges as the backup gunner on the punt team? I'll take Michael Phelps' run at eight gold medals. We'll go back to making fun of the Reds on a nightly basis in a couple weeks. They'll still be there. In the meantime, there's male gymnasts to mock!

Among the things I love most, baseball, pro and college football, and pro and college basketball are in the top seven (bonus points if you can name the other four), but the baseball season has been a bust, the football season is weeks away, and the only hoops being offerred up right now is in the Olympics in what should be a pretty fun two weeks of international hoops. It's sports. Sports are good. Sports we kick **** at are really good.

Plus there's always those Brazillian synchro swimmers.

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JUST A GUESS
This Kim Kardashian woman is going to be quite popular on the internets. 700WLW's Rich Walburg has the first of what I'm sure will be many cyberspace salutes to this rather unkown talent.