Saturday, September 27, 2008, 11:55 PM EST [General]
IT'S A DUMP, BUT IT'S OUR DUMP
For the fist time since it opened, I'm missing a home Bengals game at Paul Brown Stadium. The list of things that would pull me away from a Bengals/Browns game, an afternoon picnic with Jules Asner, maybe a backyard acoustic Bruce Springsteen concert, and the sendoff to the place where I fell in love with baseball.
Shea Stadium closes today. You know I'm a Mets fan (one day I'd like to write about how I was told I'm not supposed to share that with anyone, but doesn't your average sports fan get that a guy is attached to the first team he became a fan of?) and today is huge. Not only can the Mets stave off last day elimination for the second straight year, but the place they've called home for 45 years shuts down after the season. Today is the final planned regular season game.
Shea has been called a lot of things: a toilet bowl, dumpy, stench ridden, and a bunch of stuff I'm not allowed to print. Most of it is true, though most of the people offering up the criticism have either never been there or never ventured out of the press box to walk around the park. The concourses are too small, the restrooms are tiny, the escalators rarely work, the ushers make the GABP fossils seem as perky as Richard Simmons on speed, the seats are falling apart, and it looks every bit that much like Elizabeth Taylor, it stopped taking care of itself some time in the early 80s.
It also saw some pretty cool stuff within its confines. The most improbable World Series ever in 1969 (sorry '90 Reds), the most improbable comeback in World Series history (10/25/86), the Grand Single, Tom Seaver whiffing 19 Padres in 1970 (a record at the time), Rose v. Harrelson, the Jackie Robinson ceremonies in 1997, Todd Pratt's walkoff in 1999, among many, many others.
Shea wasn't limited to baseball. It hosted the Beatles, The Who, The Pope, Joe Namath, and Springsteen. Lord Tariq and Peter Gunz also filmed a music video there. They were wearing Yankee gear the entire time, but far be it from me to make fun of their confusion.
Most important, it hosted some huge moments in my life. I saw the Mets score 5 runs in the ninth against Curt Schilling to win in 1999. Mike Alessi's mom took us to see them clinch the NL East against Philly in 1988. Dan Freeman and I scored two high school girls' phone numbers there in 1991. They were bum digits, but for a night, we were studs. My friend Kenny's fake ID bought us about 19 beers there in 1997. On the 20th, it was confiscated and we were told we could leave. In 2002, my wife met my friend Carrie at Shea, which sucked. In 1999, my buddy Nick met his wife there while I entertained the decidedly far heavier friend, which didn't. At least for Nick.
Most important, on July 25th, 1984, a dad took his kid to the ballpark and a love affair with a team and a sport was born. I can remember the events of that day like it was yesterday. The first time I saw the inside of a Major League Baseball park, the sound of the first homer I witnessed (Darryl Strawberry), and the first time I ever saw a man volunteer to squeegie my dad's car windows, then berate him for not giving the guy money.
There will be decidedly less pomp and circumstance for Shea's closing than for the other ballpark in New York last week, which is appropriate. The Yankees gave their stadium a proper sendoff, but the problem is, they had to share it with the everyone else. Shea might not have the history, the tradition, or the Bronx youths breaking into your car next door that Yankee Stadium did, but it had a charm all it's own that those of us who decided to root for the less fascist will always remember and enjoy. And the Shea goodbye won't lack for star power, the greatest player of all time (Willie Mays), the greatest living pitcher (Tom Seaver), and the greatest offensive catcher ever and holder of the best press conference of all-time (Mike Piazza) will be among the legends in attendance for the farewell. And none of them will be animated.
Shea's doors close. The memories will remain. The Browns and Bengals will both be just as awful on the DVR Monday, and if they choke in the final game of 2008 I'll feel decidedly less sentimental about the 'ol dump. And if that happens and the Bengals impersonate an actual NFL club, I'll punc myself in the face for missing the game. But for now, thanks Shea, and thanks Dad. Two underappreciated ones of a kind who deserve their due.
Friday, September 26, 2008, 08:22 AM EST [General]
MY APOLOGIES TO ART SCHLICHTER Had I been born sooner, and had the internet been around earlier, maybe Art could've read my NFL picks. Then he'd have bet on winning teams, not have resorted to stealing money, and would've never had to go to prison. Maybe he'd be co-hosting with a fat guy named Sal one of those Saturday morning gambling shows we air during the football season. Unfortunately, I was born in '77 and the internet proliferated while Art was sharing a cell instead of a microphone with a fat guy named Sal.
First the obligatory college picks. UC ain't losing to Akron, OSU ain't losing to Minnesota, though I'm not expecting massive blowout in either game, and UK ain't losing to Western Kentucky, where I almost went to college until I realized WKU was about four hours from civilization. Plus, it was far more fun to fork over thousands of dollars more for a private education that saw he take classes like "Tape Editing." Speaking of the University of Dayton, they'll beat Duqesne and trust me, a ton of thought went into that pick.
Now for the pros. Destiny closed into my lead last week with a solid showing, going 11-5 to my 10-6. For the year, I'm 29-18, and she's 23-24. Keep in mind, we can't pick games like everyone else does, using point spread, because that concept is as foreign to her as championships are to the city of Cleveland. Speaking of which...
I usually like to include a gallery of the cheerleaders for the Bengals opponent. However, the Browns don't have cheerleaders, much like the Giants. In New York, it's unforgiveable. In Cleveland, it makes sense. Gas prices are up, airline tickets cost more than ever, the expense of importing good looking women to Cleveland ten times a year has to start to add up, even for a profitable NFL team. Plus, when your unofficial mascot is a 400 pound man wearing a dog mask, you can't possibly compliment him with women in hotpants, primarily out of fear that he'll eat them.
Bengals/Browns: This was somewhat easy this morning. I felt the Bengals would win. Eric Steinbach, Braylon Ediwards, and Shaun Rogers are banged up, Derek Anderson has turned into Derek Anderson, and the vultures are circling over Romeo Crennel. Now we find out Carson's throwing elbow is bothering him, so let's go through the list so far: nose, ankle, now elbow. And September isn't over. Wonderful. If Carson can't throw it, and the Bengals keep cramming Chris Perry inside, it's gonna be a long day. Still, I think Derek Anderson in week 16 of 2007 instead of week 2 of 2007 shows up, if they have to use Fitzpatrick,this is a team they can use him against and expect to get by. Plus, maybe the defense can grab a turnover. Against any sanity, I'm picking my Bengals Destiny is with me.
Minnesota/Tennessee: For all the strength, dominance, and prestige that is the NFL. One of their 13 contests this week features Gus Frerrotte v. Kerry Collins. To be fair, it also features Adrian Peterson, bad hammy and all v. Chris Johnson. Destiny and I are both picking the Titans.
Denver/Kansas City: This seems like the type of game underperforming Bronco teams over the last few years would lose, but man the Chiefs are bad. We're both picking the Broncos.
San Francisco/New Orleans: JT O'Sullivan should really open a bar. He and the Niners beat the Saints. Destiny like New Orleans.
Arizona/NY Jets: Kurt Warner v. Brett Favre in 2008. Who knew? Favre throws fewer picks than Warner fumbles and the Jets win, though a team that got pounded on the road on teh west coast on Monday night has the odds stacked agains them. Destiny agrees with the pick.
Green Bay/Tampa Bay: The Packers, because Lil Wayne says so. Destiny likes the Pack as well.
Atlanta/Carolina: The Matt Ryan roller coaster continues, and the Panthers bounce back at home. Destiny also likes Carolina.
Houston/Jacksonville: The Jags were a field goal away from imploding. They jump back into the fray by pounding an awful Texas team. Destiny also likes Jacksonville.
Buffalo/St. Louis: The Rams are starting to define dysfunction and the Buffalo Bills (quick, name six Buffalo Bills) are gonna be 4-0 according to both me and Destiny.
San Diego/Oakland: Did I say the Rams are staring to define dysfunction? Must've forgotten the Raiders are still in the league. Still though, Lane Kiffin is a point away from being 2-1, with two solid efforts on the road. Can't see them beating San Diego, so we both take the Raiders.
Washington/Dallas: Washington is 2-1, but simply can't score enough to beat Tony Romo. We both like the Cowboys.
Philly/Chicago: An NLCS preview. The Eagles win this one. Tampa Bay exposed holes in the Bears D last week, DeSean Jackson and Hank Baskett rip them open this week. The Cubs will exact revenge in a few weeks. Destiny also likes the Eagles.
Baltimore/Pittsburgh: I want to pick Baltimore. We know how beaten up the Steelers are, but Joe Flacco didn't face a defense like this in his first two games. I take Pittsburgh. Destiny likes the Ravens.
TASTES GREAT! Earlier this week, we spent some time discussing the dearth of good looking women wearing NFL jerseys on the web. I linked to the Uncoached gallery of chicks wearing NFL gear, which included two girls in Bengals tops. They were underwhelming and as a life-long Bengals fan, this bothered me, so I found some pictures of women in Bengals jerseys. I'll leave it to you to determine their level of quality, but I think there's some hotness in this gallery, which you can check out by clicking the picture of the girl holding the beer.
Hey speaking of Trojans, I'll be blogging from the Rubber Bowl tomorrow during the UC/Akron game. (Laptop cooperation pending) I'd also like to try a live chat from the game, because quite frankly I don't have enough to do. We'll discuss what sharp object I'd use to impale myself if the 'Cats lost to a school with this for a mascot.
-The losing coach Sunday will have to endure increased speculation about his job security. Romeo a little moreso than Marvin, but still the questions will intensify about the future of whomever takes the loss. Can a midseason coaching change work?
-How hard is it to show up to court? Delta has 13 trips to Fresno daily, usually with a stop in Salt Lake or Minneapolis, but the flights are available.
-Last night's USC/Oregon State game (hey, at least one OSU was able to beat the Trojans) was the ultimate "text message" game. A game you probably weren't paying attention to until you got a text message along the lines of "dude, you watching USC?"
Thursday, September 25, 2008, 08:48 AM EST [General]
IT'S CARRIE UNDERWOOD DAY. In honor of her appearance at NKU last night, and to show I can do a better gallery than the Enquirer (see below), I did one of my own, simply so I can keep learning about the web and how it works. Click the photo to see it. Yea.
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THURSDAY THINGS -Carrie Underwood played at the New Bank of Kentucky Center and based on this gallery from the Enquirer, simply got it done.
-A few weeks ago, we were lamenting the lack of pictures of girls in
NFL jerseys on the internet. Nothing is better than a good looking
woman in an NFL jersey. My man Nat at Uncoached found some. The two girls in Bengals jerseys leave a little to be desired.
-Most UC fans I talk to seem to want the 'Cats to play more games at PBS. What if that meant an increase in ticket prices?
Wednesday, September 24, 2008, 08:42 AM EST [General]
GOOD TO SEE THE ASSISTANT COACH FROM WATERBOY FOUND WORK Working for Nick Saban has to be a step up from assisting The Fonz.
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QUALITY VETERAN OF THE WEEK There's nothing as deflating as pulling up to your house, thinking you're going to be able to lay on the couch, toss back a few cold ones and watch Monday Night Football but walking through your front door and seeing your wife watching "Dancing With The Stars." This happened to me Monday. I actually wished we were still without power. The only saving grace was I got a good look at Susan Lucci, who quite honestly, I've never really paid attention to. This woman is 61. 61! Getting it done into your 60s earns you Quality Veteran of the Week honors, even if it doesn't get you an Emmy until they feel so bad for you they hand you one just because you're old. That, by the way, is what we call "The Rizzuto."
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THIS WOULD MAKE A NICE GIFT I talked today about how I get jobbed on my birthday because my wife and I usually get gifts for the two of us since our birthdays are so close, which usually means we get something like a laundry hamper. Hint to anyone shopping for our gift this year....we have yet to buy a calendar for 2009.
The Red Sox won clinched a playoff berth last night. Good for
them. But they didn't win anything. No championship was clinched, and
they'll likely be a wild card, yet the celebration was akin to winning
a postseason series. How weak is that?
The woman who runs this website will join me Wednesday.
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MAKE A DIFFERENCE ON OCTOBER 5TH.
There's two cool events that day near and dear to some really great friends of mine.
It's hard to think of a sadder, more debilitating disease than ALS (Lou Gehrigs's Disease). Anyone who's known someone suffering from this can attest to how debilitating and devastating it is. Three years ago, one of my best friends lost her dad because of this awful illness. Another buddy of mine is helping his mom fight it with courage and determination. On October 5th, were gonna walk in the 2008 Walk to Defeat ALS. Starts at 11am at Winton Woods Park. You can start your own team, or join me on Ken's Crew and help raise some dough to beat ALS. Ken was my friend Marissa's dad, and she was nice enough to ask me to join in, primarily because it's not competitive. Had it been, she'd just ask for money. Anyway, come walk and a help a terrific cause.
My buddy Josh Sneed also has an event that afternoon. His dad passed away earlier this year after a fight with cancer. To honor him, and to raise money for the American Cancer Society, Josh is holding the Gary Sneed Memorial Golf Tournament. Josh is looking for golfers ($70/golfer) and for hole sponsors ($60). It will be at the King's Island Golf Center and it starts at 1:00. There will be a dinner afterward with a raffle and a silent auction. For more information, check out the Gary Sneed Memorial Golf Tournament website.
(The Bengals don't play until 4:15 that day so you'll be fine)
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REMEMBER HOW IT WAS RUMORED THAT JESSICA ALBA HAD A KID? No one is buying it.
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HAPPY BOSS DAY 59 years ago today, God gave us Bruce Springsteen. God has done a lot of nice things since then, but he's had a tough time topping himself since. In the Presidential debates next month, the question of whether Bruce Springsteen's birthday should be a national holiday needs to be put the the candidates. Whichever one says yes gets my vote. If both agree on this, we'll see how they feel about Mookie Wilson and go from there. Anyway, sit back as Bruce demonstrates his considerable musical skills at the Garden in 2000.
MOVIES I'M SEEEING Megan Fox is in a movie where she walks across a pool of water. Batman 6 or whatever the hell that movie was called didn't have that.
NEXT YEAR'S 153. SPOLIER ALERT. Meet Rebecca Tynes.
Rebecca is Norweigan. I've never been to Norway, but I gotta think the
ratio of smoking hot chicks to everyone else is incredible. I'm also
imagining that it's usually quite cold there, so I don't really get the
need for bikinis, but I won't put up an argument. Anyway, at some
point in 2009, in a cheap attempt for web hits, I'll update my list of
my favorite 153 women. (Scroll waaaaay down this page to see it) It's a safe bet that we'll have a new number one and that you're looking at her.
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WHY I HATE LUXURY BOXES These chicks look hot and fun to hang out with.
But seriously, can you imagine trying to hone in on the action on the
field while these idiots act like this? These are the type of people
who occupy luxury boxes. Or so I imagine. These are more or less the
bitter ruminations of a man who's never been invited to one, despite
the fact that the company I've worked for my entire adult life has one.
TUESDAY TOPICS -2005 homesickness. Doesn't the fact that
we had a taste of what the NFL is supposed to be like make this year
all the more hearbreaking and frustrating?
-Marvin says fans weren't loud enough. I thought we were booing quite loudly.
-Remember how we said at the first sign of adveristy, it'd be
interesting to see how Chad reacted? He's actually done pretty well.
