POSTGAME/FOURTH QUARTER
Greetings from the Hilton Garden in at the Akron/Canton airport.  It's nice to be able to finish the blog.  The Bearcats thankfully held on for a 17-15 win, which you probably already knew. 

Tony Pike left the game in the fourth with a broken right arm.  Zach Collaros finished the game, taking his first collegiate snaps, and though he didn't do much with his arm, had a key seven yard scramble, setting up Jake Rogers clutch 47 yard field goal with 7:45 to go,to give UC the lead.

Let's not overlook how huge the blocked extra point was (Manalac?).  If not for that, the game likely goes to OT.

Who plays QB Friday night against Marshall is anyone's guess.  As recently as last week, Chazz Anderson was the backup, so I'm putting my money on him, but I'm not wagering much.  As much as Brian Kelly has to sort through Chazz, Collaros, and Demetrius Jones and get one ready during a short week (Marshal game is Friday), he's also got to be concerned about a team that can't get out of its own way in term of silly penalties, a very inconsistent running game, which will won't work the deeper you go down the depth chart at QB, a defense that still seems to give up far too many first downs on third down, and a team that looked like after the first drive that it felt like Akron would just wilt in their presence.

But like me, he can go to bed to night happy he'll never have to step inside the Rubber Bowl again. I tried to take some pictures in the hopes of capturing how miserable that stadium is, I did't do a very good job, but I'll post them nonetheless.  Click on the picture.

FOURTH QUARTER

This is the worst they've played under Brian Kelly.  After a Mardy Gilyard fumble, the Zips go 24 yards in five plays and finish the drive with a Dennis Kennedy one yard TD run.  The two point conversion attempt failed.  It's 15-14 Akron, 14:13 to go.  The Bearcats just cannot run the football.

Getting emails from people who say it's not just Time Warner, the game isn't available on other carriers, but my dad with Dish Network has been watching all afternoon and our producer back in Cincinnati has been watching on DirecTV.  Everyone I know with Time Warner has been shutout.

THIRD QUARTER

Shoddy wireless means this is late but the 'Cats scored on a 67 yard TD pass from Pike to Gilyard.  Akron then moved it to the Bearcat 5 (still can't stop the short stuff), then Andrew Johnson was stopped on fourth and one.  As I type this he has been on the field suffering from a pretty severe injury, he is moving his legs, but they're putting him on the board and loading him into an ambulance.  His family is on the field.  It's 14-9 'Cats, 8:11.

HALFTIME

I usually hate Subway sandwiches, but the one I ate at half hit the spot.

The first drive almost came too easy.  Since then, it's like the 'Cats expect Akron to just start rolling over.  Completely flat effort.

All non-team members given the boot from the locker room, including our sideline man Tommy G.

Drew Frey...two broken bones in his arm, and likely done for the year.  Sad.  He'd been playing really well at strong safety.

SECOND QUARTER

UC is making this QB look like Tom Brady.  Jacquemaine with all day to throw and it's first and goal at the UC two.  Now second and goal from the seven after the Zips have too many in the huddle.  And Deryn Bowser just abuses Mike Mickens on a fade route.  The extra point is blocked and  it's 9-7 Akron. Wow

Seriously, how does Time Warner have any credibility? The plans to make the game available on channel 99  completely fell through so if you have TWC, you have no Bearcat game.  Un freaking real.  And don't think for a second you'll get a cent off your bill.

'Cats give up middle f the field and Akron has it in UC territory with a minute to go. And Dashan Miller picks up another Akron first down.  Why are they letting these guys hang around?

Awful call to go deep on fourth and one.

Play action for Pike and a 17 yard toss to Goodman.  Fifth Bearcat penalty (ugh) for not enough men on the line of scrimmage sets up fist and fifteen from the Akron 39.  The flags are maddening.  Gilyard drops a second and fifteen pass.  Sloppy.  He makes up for it with a 14 yard gain, they get an awful spot.

'Cats get a break when Jacquemain fumbles, they recover but  a late hit penalty on the Zips makes it second and 32. After a high snap Curtis Young with a Bearcat sack.  Fourth and 36.  Even Brian Kelly punts here. So do the Zips.

Clutch on fourth and ten.  Rollout and throw by Pike.  Catch by Gilyard, breaks some tackles and gets to the Akron ten.  On third down Tony takes it himself on a QB draw to the one.  And they're going for it on fourth.  Love going for it, hate the call.  Roll Tony out and let him hit Connor Barwin, back in at tight end on that play.

Man, another UC penalty.  Ineligible receiver. 

Freshman Isiah Pead gets his first college carry and it's a Bearcat first down.

Four Bearcat penalities already.  Trevor Canfield holding takes away a first down.  The Guidugli is interfered with but no flag.  But roughing the kicker is called on Akron when Kevin Huber is drilled in teh end zone.  Backup punter Michael Cooke is done for the year so Huber can't go down.

FIRST QUARTER

Redshirt freshman safety Drew Frey has what looks like a broken wrist...headed to a hospital for x-rays.

Three and out, including a fifteen yard unsportsmanike penalty on Cincinnati.

The 'Cats were gashed often by the short pass last week against Miami.  Andre Jones takes a screen pas 37 yards, but Mickens makes a great Mike Mickens type play on third and Akron kicks a field goal, so it's 7-3 Zips.  The wireless here sucks.

UC more or less able to do what the want offensively on their first drive.  Four first downs.  And Tony Pike throws a strike to Gilyard for a Bearcat touchdown.  He's picked up where he left off.  They could not have made that look easier.

Guard Jason Kelce comes out with what looks like an ankle injury on the first play. 

'Cats going with all white today.  So far, maybe my favorite uniform combo.

Very healthy contingent of Bearcat fans in the house.  Not a very healthy contingent of Zips fans.  At least a third, if not more of this sparse crowd are in red and black.

WORST STADIUM EVER.

This blog will be sporadic.  The stadium was built in the Paleolithic Era, and thus, the wireless is almost non existent.  I will try my best.

The prediction:  UC 42 Akron 14

MY APOLOGIES TO ART SCHLICHTER
Had I been born sooner, and had the internet been around earlier, maybe Art could've read my NFL picks.  Then he'd have bet on winning teams, not have resorted to stealing money, and would've never had to go to prison.  Maybe he'd be co-hosting with a fat guy named Sal one of those Saturday morning gambling shows we air during the football season.  Unfortunately, I was born in '77 and the internet proliferated while Art was sharing a cell instead of a microphone with a fat guy named Sal.

First the obligatory college picks.  UC ain't losing to Akron, OSU ain't losing to Minnesota, though I'm not expecting massive blowout in either game, and UK ain't losing to Western Kentucky, where I almost went to college until I realized WKU was about four hours from civilization.  Plus, it was far more fun to fork over thousands of dollars more for a private education that saw he take classes like "Tape Editing."  Speaking of the University of Dayton, they'll beat Duqesne and trust me, a ton of thought went into that pick.

Now for the pros.  Destiny closed into my lead last week with a solid showing, going 11-5 to my 10-6.  For the year, I'm 29-18, and she's 23-24.  Keep in mind, we can't pick games like everyone else does, using point spread, because that concept is as foreign to her as championships are to the city of Cleveland.  Speaking of which...

I usually like to include a gallery of the cheerleaders for the Bengals opponent.  However, the Browns don't have cheerleaders, much like the Giants.  In New York, it's unforgiveable.  In Cleveland, it makes sense.  Gas prices are up, airline tickets cost more than ever, the expense of importing good looking women to Cleveland ten times a year has to start to add up, even for a profitable NFL team.  Plus, when your unofficial mascot is a 400 pound man wearing a dog mask, you can't possibly compliment him with women in hotpants, primarily out of fear that he'll eat them.

Bengals/Browns:  This was somewhat easy this morning.  I felt the Bengals would win.  Eric Steinbach, Braylon Ediwards, and Shaun Rogers are banged up, Derek Anderson has turned into Derek Anderson, and the vultures are circling over Romeo Crennel.  Now we find out Carson's throwing elbow is bothering him, so let's go through the list so far:  nose, ankle, now elbow. And September isn't over.  Wonderful.  If Carson can't throw it, and the Bengals keep cramming Chris Perry inside, it's gonna be a long day.  Still, I think Derek Anderson in week 16 of 2007 instead of week 2 of 2007 shows up, if they have to use Fitzpatrick,this is a team they can use him against and expect to get by.  Plus, maybe the defense can grab a turnover.  Against any sanity, I'm picking my Bengals  Destiny is with me.

Minnesota/Tennessee:  For all the strength, dominance, and prestige that is the NFL.  One of their 13 contests this week features Gus Frerrotte v. Kerry Collins.  To be fair, it also features Adrian Peterson, bad hammy and all v. Chris Johnson.  Destiny and I are both picking the Titans.

Denver/Kansas City:  This seems like the type of game underperforming Bronco teams over the last few years would lose, but man the Chiefs are bad.  We're both picking the Broncos.

San Francisco/New Orleans:  JT O'Sullivan should really open a bar.  He and the Niners beat the Saints.  Destiny like New Orleans. 

Arizona/NY Jets:  Kurt Warner v. Brett Favre in 2008.  Who knew?  Favre throws fewer picks than Warner fumbles and the Jets win, though a team that got pounded on the road on teh west coast on Monday night has the odds stacked agains them.  Destiny agrees with the pick.

Green Bay/Tampa Bay:  The Packers, because Lil Wayne says so.  Destiny likes the Pack as well.

Atlanta/Carolina:  The Matt Ryan roller coaster continues, and the Panthers bounce back at home.  Destiny also likes Carolina.

Houston/Jacksonville:  The Jags were a field goal away from imploding.  They jump back into the fray by pounding an awful Texas team.  Destiny also likes Jacksonville.

 Buffalo/St. Louis:  The Rams are starting to define dysfunction and the Buffalo Bills (quick, name six Buffalo Bills) are gonna be 4-0 according to both me and Destiny.

San Diego/Oakland:  Did I say the Rams are staring to define dysfunction?  Must've forgotten the Raiders are still in the league.  Still though, Lane Kiffin is a point away from being 2-1, with two solid efforts on the road.  Can't see them beating San Diego, so we both take the Raiders.

Washington/Dallas:  Washington is 2-1, but simply can't score enough to beat Tony Romo.  We both like the Cowboys.

Philly/Chicago:  An NLCS preview. The Eagles win this one.   Tampa Bay exposed holes in the Bears D last week, DeSean Jackson and Hank Baskett rip them open this week. The Cubs will exact revenge in a few weeks.  Destiny also likes the Eagles.

Baltimore/Pittsburgh:  I want to pick Baltimore.  We know how beaten up the Steelers are, but Joe Flacco didn't face a defense like this in his first two games.  I take Pittsburgh.  Destiny likes the Ravens.

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TASTES GREAT!
Earlier this week, we spent some time discussing the dearth of good looking women wearing NFL jerseys on the web.  I linked to the Uncoached gallery of chicks wearing NFL gear, which included two girls in Bengals tops.  They were underwhelming and as a life-long Bengals fan, this bothered me, so I found some pictures of women in Bengals jerseys.  I'll leave it to you to determine their level of quality, but I think there's some hotness in this gallery, which you can check out by clicking the picture of the girl holding the beer.

 
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IN AN UPSET, BEAVERS HAMMER TROJANS
I'm guessing this is the bitter rumination of a Ohio State fan, which is totally cool.  It's also the excuse I needed to link to this.

Hey speaking of Trojans, I'll be blogging from the Rubber Bowl tomorrow during the UC/Akron game.  (Laptop cooperation pending)  I'd also like to try a live chat from the game, because quite frankly I don't have enough to do.  We'll discuss what sharp object I'd use to impale myself if the 'Cats lost to a school with this for a mascot.

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FRIDAY FLUFF

First off, let's meet Danielle Bux.

-The losing coach Sunday will have to endure increased speculation about his job security.  Romeo a little moreso than Marvin, but still the questions will intensify about the future of whomever takes the loss.  Can a midseason coaching change work? 

-How long is Levi's leash on Sunday?

-A hoops coach gets fired for using profanity.

-How hard is it to show up to court?  Delta has 13 trips to Fresno daily, usually with a stop in Salt Lake or Minneapolis, but the flights are available.

-Last night's USC/Oregon State game (hey, at least one OSU was able to beat the Trojans) was the ultimate "text message" game.  A game you probably weren't paying attention to until you got a text message along the lines of "dude, you watching USC?"

-Olympic gold medalist and UC grad Mary Weinberg is challenging Chad Ocho Cinco to a race.  She'll join us at 9:30.

-This is a law I can get behind, and one I'd be guilty of breaking at the same time.

IT'S CARRIE UNDERWOOD DAY.
In honor of her appearance at NKU last night, and to show I can do a better gallery than the Enquirer (see below), I did one of my own, simply so I can keep learning about the web and how it works.  Click the photo to see it.  Yea.

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THURSDAY THINGS
-Carrie Underwood played at the New Bank of Kentucky Center and based on this gallery from the Enquirer, simply got it done.

-We'll touch on the booing of college athletes thing that had people so hot and bothered yesterday.

-A few weeks ago, we were lamenting the lack of pictures of girls in NFL jerseys on the internet.  Nothing is better than a good looking woman in an NFL jersey.  My man Nat at Uncoached found some.  The two girls in Bengals jerseys leave a little to be desired.

-Most UC fans I talk to seem to want the 'Cats to play more games at PBS.  What if that meant an increase in ticket prices?

-Glad this guy was listening on Tuesday.

-Lance just sent me this 139 picture gallery of Audrina Partridge, which is really kinda keeping me from getting anything done this morning.

-Once again, the idiots ruin it for everybody.

-This is a church I can get behind.

-Do the Bengals really have the coolest helmets in the NFL?

GOOD TO SEE THE ASSISTANT COACH FROM WATERBOY FOUND WORK
Working for Nick Saban has to be a step up from assisting The Fonz.

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QUALITY VETERAN OF THE WEEK
There's nothing as deflating as pulling up to your house, thinking you're going to be able to lay on the couch, toss back a few cold ones and watch Monday Night Football but walking through your front door and seeing your wife watching "Dancing With The Stars." This happened to me Monday.  I actually wished we were still without power.  The only saving grace was I got a good look at Susan Lucci, who quite honestly, I've never really paid attention to.  This woman is 61.  61!  Getting it done into your 60s earns you Quality Veteran of the Week honors, even if it doesn't get you an Emmy until they feel so bad for you they hand you one just because you're old. That, by the way, is what we call "The Rizzuto."

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THIS WOULD MAKE A NICE GIFT
I talked today about how I get jobbed on my birthday because my wife and I usually get gifts for the two of us since our birthdays are so close, which usually means we get something like a laundry hamper.  Hint to anyone shopping for our gift this year....we have yet to buy a calendar for 2009.

Actually, I could use a calendar for the office as well.

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JOHNNY BENCH'S BUZZ KICKS IN AT EXACTLY THE :43 MARK.
From last night's Red Sox game.

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HOW COOL IS THIS?
14 games in 23 hours to tip off the basketball season on the ESPNs.  With a nice little window for a nap when they show a women's game.

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LANCE McCALISTER ASKS THE OBVIOUS
Got this e-mail this morning:

Mo:

Holly Weber.  Blog worthy?

Lance.

Gee, not sure.

Also this morning -

A movement by women to stop fantasy football.  Guest at 10am.

More people who don't pay for tickets telling you and I how to behave.

We owe Nancy Zimpher an apology.  I'll explain why.

Carson Palmer's press conference at 11am.

Marisa Tomei naked, Springsteen on the soundtrack, and a movie about '80s wrestling?  I'm seeing it.

If what we saw in the Reds game is how instant replay is going to be used, I hate it.

Typical Yankees.

The Red Sox won clinched a playoff berth last night.  Good for them.  But they didn't win anything.  No championship was clinched, and they'll likely be a wild card, yet the celebration was akin to winning a postseason series. How weak is that?

Just a delightful hazing story.  Seriously, what the hell is wrong with people?

KNOW HOW MUCH YOU LIKE FANTASY FOOTBALL?
Leave it to an attention-starved woman to try to put an end to your fun.

The woman who runs this website will join me Wednesday.

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MAKE A DIFFERENCE ON OCTOBER 5TH.

There's two cool events that day near and dear to some really great friends of mine.

It's hard to think of a sadder, more debilitating disease than ALS (Lou Gehrigs's Disease).  Anyone who's known someone suffering from this can attest to how debilitating and devastating it is.  Three years ago, one of my best friends lost her dad because of this awful illness.  Another buddy of mine is helping his mom fight it with courage and determination.  On October 5th,  were gonna walk in the 2008 Walk to Defeat ALS.  Starts at 11am at Winton Woods Park. You can start your own team, or join me on Ken's Crew and help raise some dough to beat ALS.  Ken was my friend Marissa's dad, and she was nice enough to ask me to join in, primarily because it's not competitive.  Had it been, she'd just ask for money.  Anyway, come walk and a help a terrific cause.

My buddy Josh Sneed also has an event that afternoon.  His dad passed away earlier this year after a fight with cancer.  To honor him, and to raise money for the American Cancer Society, Josh is holding the Gary Sneed Memorial Golf Tournament.  Josh is looking for golfers ($70/golfer) and for hole sponsors ($60).  It will be at the King's Island Golf Center and it starts at 1:00.  There will be a dinner afterward with a raffle and a silent auction.  For more information, check out the Gary Sneed Memorial Golf Tournament website.

(The Bengals don't play until 4:15 that day so you'll be fine)

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 REMEMBER HOW IT WAS RUMORED THAT JESSICA ALBA HAD A KID?
No one is buying it.

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HAPPY BOSS DAY
59 years ago today, God gave us Bruce Springsteen.  God has done a lot of nice things since then, but he's had a tough time topping himself since.  In the Presidential debates next month, the question of whether Bruce Springsteen's birthday should be a national holiday needs to be put the the candidates.  Whichever one says yes gets my vote.  If both agree on this, we'll see how they feel about Mookie Wilson and go from there.  Anyway, sit back as Bruce demonstrates his considerable musical skills at the Garden in 2000.

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ATTENTION DOUCHEBAGS
Your phone is ringing.

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MOVIES I'M SEEEING
Megan Fox is in a movie where she walks across a pool of water.  Batman 6 or whatever the hell that movie was called didn't have that.

Co-Ed Magazine has picture goodness here.

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NEXT YEAR'S 153.  SPOLIER ALERT.
Meet Rebecca Tynes.  Rebecca is Norweigan.  I've never been to Norway, but I gotta think the ratio of smoking hot chicks to everyone else is incredible.  I'm also imagining that it's usually quite cold there, so I don't really get the need for bikinis, but I won't put up an argument.  Anyway, at some point in 2009, in a cheap attempt for web hits, I'll update my list of my favorite 153 women. (Scroll waaaaay down this page to see it)  It's a safe bet that we'll have a new number one and that you're looking at her.

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WHY I HATE LUXURY BOXES
These chicks look hot and fun to hang out with.  But seriously, can you imagine trying to hone in on the action on the field while these idiots act like this?  These are the type of people who occupy luxury boxes.  Or so I imagine.  These are more or less the bitter ruminations of a man who's never been invited to one, despite the fact that the company I've worked for my entire adult life has one.

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TUESDAY TOPICS
-2005 homesickness.  Doesn't the fact that we had a taste of what the NFL is supposed to be like make this year all the more hearbreaking and frustrating?

-Marvin says fans weren't loud enough.  I thought we were booing quite loudly.

-Remember how we said at the first sign of adveristy, it'd be interesting to see how Chad reacted?  He's actually done pretty well.

-Pittsburgh city schools will continue to produce morons.

-Why is it so open and shut the Geovany Soto is the NL's Rookie of the Year?  Doesn't Joey Votto make a pretty good case?

-This is my kind of guy.

-You think the Bengals are dysfunctional, check out the stuff they put up with in Oakland.

-Has anyone ever ever used the word "haters" and sounded remotely intelligent?