YOU LAID AWAKE ALL NIGHT WONDERING WHAT I'D TALK ABOUT TODAY.
-So, Josh Fogg throws eight pitches Sunday, Harang 63, yet Fogg pitches Saturday and Harang last night?

-The first four calls on Extra Innings last night...
*The Reds should trade Aaron Harang
*Why did the Reds extend Aaron Harang
*Last night's game was like going to Louisville. Too many young guys. Charge minor league prices then
*The game last night was fixed
What the hell is wrong with people?

-Eric Deters with the Cut-man this morning. Unprofessional???

-Kobe Bryant last night.

-Last night's NBA game illustrated why you shouldn't gamble.

-Are you watching more NBA because the players don't have as many tattoos?

-I say we start a kickball team.

-Your wife/girlfriend/hot woman at work you lust for will be getting all liquored up on cosmopolitans to go see Sex in the City. Are cosmos the least manly drinks ever? Which drinks should a man never throw down?

-The first ever MMA event on network TV this weekend. If you're not an MMA guy, you checking it out? Does UFC guy boycott this?

-The Scrips National Spelling Bee is underway. Can the Sports Kitten spell?

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CHURCH FESTIVAL SEASON IS HERE.

Join us for the kickoff of the 2008 Church Festival season at All Saints tonight (8939 Montgomery Road) starting at 7:00. There will be beer. There will be gambling. There will be food. There will be rides. There will be beer. Nothing, I swear nothing, tops beer at a church festival. You can also meet King of the Webcam Mark Chalifoux. Show up.

And since you're looking ahead of course, next Friday has us at the Queen of Peace Festival in Millville, where I will sell you a beer.

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THE SEATTLE MARINERS ARE A BACKWARDS ORGANIZATION
They kicked out two lesbians for kissing at a recent game.

A local lesbian couple says a peck on the lips nearly got the two of them tossed out of a Mariners game.

The women said in an arena where even chanting and screaming are allowed, they were singled out by a security guard simply because they kissed each other.

"And he (the security guard) goes 'there's a lady whose son says he saw you guys making out, and I did, too. And you have to stop.' And I said 'well, we weren't making out, but we were kissing and I'm not going to stop,'" said Guerrero.

WTF? I cordially invite these women to sit with me in the Moon Deck at GABP anytime they want. We do not complain about these kind of things in the Moon Deck. As a matter of fact, if I'd have my own Homer Outing if this woman wants to come suck face with her partner in the Moon Deck. We don't tattle on lesbians in our fair city, we celebrate them. Screw the upper northwest.

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BEN UTECHT IS EXCITED TO PLAY FOOTBALL HERE
Calls it his "dream job." Mine is still being the guy who fills office vending machines.

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GOT A BUCK? WANNA HELP SOMEONE?
Katie Reider is a musician from Cincinnati, who I had a chance to catch in person years ago. She's phenomenal. Some may remember her dad Rob from The Bob Braun Show. A rare tumor has interrupted a great and promising career, and she needs help. Check out 500Kin365.org to learn her story and give her and her family a hand.

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I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO SAY THIS....
But these guys are my heroes.

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SEE WHAT IT'S LIKE TO FLY IN A PLANE!
On Memorial Day, I took a ride on the Liberty Belle, a World War II B-17 Bomber. Flights from Lunken Airport are available this weekend. Easily one of the coolest things I've ever done. Plus, my favorite weather person was aboard. For more information check out the Liberty Belle's website. Enjoy my shoddy recording skills.

THIS IS WHY Wii IS THE GREATEST INVENTION EVER

(Thanks to Barstool Sports)

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WORST FIRST PITCH.  PICK ONE.

Mark Mallory

Mariah Carey

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NEVER BEEN HAPPIER TO BE WRONG ABOUT SOMETHING
Remember when I said Jerry Hairston was Corey Patterson light?

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THIS WOMAN IS UNREAL
Or, as one of my favorite blogs would say, she's uncoachable.

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WANNA KNOW WHY HOMER BAILEY ISN'T HERE?
Read this.

Paul Janish, a great kid, is here. Jay Bruce, a great kid, is here. Homer Bailey is not here. And notice I didn’t use the word great.

You wonder, just wonder, now that he has seen Janish and Bruce leave Louisville, along with Andy Phillips, can Bailey just adjust his attitude and work ethic, show some spunk instead of snarkiness and get himself up here.

It was no accident that Bruce got pie-faced and water soaked by his teammates after his debut and hardly any teammate paid attention when Bailey was here last year. Bruce is well-liked. Bailey is aloof. A loner. There is a reason for that.

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THIS SUCKS
Dolphins Release Tab Perry

HERE, WE GET LOCAL SCAM ARTISTS POLITCIANS
In Japan, they get Mariah Carey to throw out the first pitch.

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YAWN.
Pete Rose bet on baseball. In case you had forgotten.

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JOSH HAMILTON IN SI

58 RBI. Freaking amazing. Check out the article here.

During the 2007 season Reds second baseman Brandon Phillips grumbled to a reporter that there was more focus on Hamilton than on winning. Hamilton acknowledges that he sensed some resentment in the locker room from three or four players and says, "I didn't care. I went about my business, spending time with the fans, doing stuff that I was supposed to be doing and getting some [media] attention. They blamed what they were pissed off about on [Narron]. I think they were just jealous they weren't getting the attention."

To avoid a similar occurrence in Texas, Daniels asked a few clubhouse leaders, including Kinsler, shortstop Michael Young and third baseman Hank Blalock how they thought players would react to having Narron around. "Basically what we told J.D. was, 'If this guy is going to help us win baseball games,' " says Kinsler, " 'we don't care.'

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WONDER WHAT DRUNKS DO IN COLUMBUS DURING OSU OFFSEASON?
They go to Columbus Crew games.
(Thanks to The Big Lead)

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ELISABETH HASSELBECK IS 31 TODAY
Now you know.

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JAY BRUCE: THE DEAL.
This is pretty cool piece from my favorite baseball blog.

The last thing in the world I ever expected to see was Bruce, before the biggest game of his life; signing one autograph after the other. But it just goes to show that is what this guy is. There's no Hollywood involved with 'The Deal'. He is a down to earth country boy who can simply hit a baseball much better than you or I. That is all.

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SCOTT HATTEBERG MIGHT HAVE SOME INTEREST FROM THE METS
Poor guy.

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CHINA BANS NBA GAMES FOR BEING TOO ENTERTAINING
Note it says nothing here about WNBA games being off limits.

WHAT HAPPENED TO JUST SPITTING IN YOUR HAND?

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THANK YOU MARK MADDEN!
Thanks to you, I will no longer be the dumbest sports talk host to ever speak into a microphone!

The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette quoted Madden as saying that he had hoped Sen. Edward Kennedy "would live long enough to be assassinated." The Massachusetts Democrat has a malignant brain tumor.

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STUFF TO PONDER WHILE WONDERING WHEN THIS BLOG BEGAN TO SUCK
-Wow.

-From e-mailer Michael....

Remember Lebron's performance last year when Cleveland adopted the "witness" slogan? That's how I feel tonight. We witnessed greatness in person.

That was legitimately one of the greatest nights I've ever spent at the ballpark. I can watch this the rest of the year, regardless of the record. Just f'n amazing.

-17,000+ in the park. Years from now, how many people will have said they were there? If you didn't go, and you've been yelling for Jay Bruce for months, why didn't you go?

-There are 110 games to go. Can Jay Bruce catapult them to wins in 105 of them? Is his presence enough to make this team count this year?

-This is weak.

-I yell and scream until I'm blue in the face that more people should be watching the NBA, then they offer up that crap in San Antonio last night.

-The first day on your job wasn't as cool as Jay Bruce's and your Memorial Day wasn't as cool as this.

TUESDAY TOPICS. ALLITERATION!
-The Reds are calling up an outfielder from AAA. Discuss.
*You going? I am.
*Is it enough to make the Reds relevant this year?
*Is this the Reds most ballyhooed debut ever? Is the most anticipated Reds home game since Junior's debut?
*Are we at least seeing the laying out of a plan?
*Are we putting undue pressure on Jay Bruce?
*Who becomes the guy we now whine about not being here?
*If Jay's coming, who should go? The correct answer is Scott Hatteberg.

-For the love of God, someone explain how a Major League team employs Matt Belisle to pitch. Is it ok to root against him by now?

-Danica Patrick is a joke.

-Would your wife/girlfriend sit through an 18 inning game?

-Cyclones. Fad?

-Should a girl be kicked off a boys team because she's too good?

-Movies involve a suspension of reality. But not to the extent they ask you to suspend it in the latest "Indiana Jones." And where was Short-round?

-WTF?

-This woman is gonna pose for Playboy.