We are all on cloud nine today after Bruce's awesome debut. I have been reminded that he will probably struggle in future as he goes through gowing pains. We are all aware of that. Why aren't long sufering Reds fans allowed to dream a little?  ..What is the harm in hoping that the #32 could be added to the Reds ring of honor someday?

 

Little Known Jay Bruce Facts 

God offered Jay Bruce the gift to fly, which he swiftly declined for the ability to crush curve balls.

 

Jay Bruce has never blinked in his entire life. Never.

 

Jay Bruce's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

 

The chief export of Jay Bruce is extra base hits.

 

Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to Jay Bruce's bat speed.

 

Jay Bruce doesn't worry about changing his clock twice a year for daylight savings time. The sun rises and sets when Jay tells it to.

 

Jay Bruce invented the color Red for Cincinnati baseball fans. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Jim Bowden invented pink.

 

If you Google search "Jay Bruce goes hitless" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.

 

When Jay Bruce does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

 

Jay Bruce is expected to win gold in every swimming competition at the 2008 Beijing Olympics, even though Jay Bruce does not swim. This is because when Jay Bruce enters the water, the water gets out of his way and Jay Bruce simply walks across the pool floor.

 

'Icy-Hot' is too weak for Jay Bruce. After a game, Jay Bruce rubs his muscles down with liquid-hot MAGMA.

 

There are two types of people in the world... people that suck, and Jay Bruce.

 

Rules to live by: 1) Don't bring a knife to a gun fight. 2) Don't try to throw a fast ball past Jay Bruce.

 

Jay Bruce can sneeze with his eyes open.

 

The wind from a Jay Bruce swing can be felt from 1600 million miles away

 

Jay Bruce don't open no can of whoopass. He makes his own.

 

The greatest player who will ever play the game of baseball will make his debut tonight. It's never too early to stuff the all star ballot for Jay Bruce.

 

Vote early, Vote Often!

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Mt. Adams Raceway?

I am very excited to hear that Cincinnati will be hosting a Redbull Soapbox Race this October. You can bet this will be more entertaining than any event at KY Speedway this year. I saw the Redbull Flutag in Nashville last summer at it was great! ...I am even considering entering the event. Here are the details...

http://www.redbullsoapboxusa.com/Cincinnati-2008/default.aspx

 

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History of Goofy Commercials During Reds Games:

 (sorry for the re-post... I lost this somehow trying to edit it)

Why are there so many corny commercials for food products during Reds games? Here is my ****sment of some of the most talked about commercials ever to be frequently played during reds games.

 

JTM

 

 Reds games on FSN are saturated with JTM commercials these days. Welsh's over dramatic sadness would be more appropriate for a Shakespeare tragedy. Arroyo doesn't have enough musical talent to make the cut of most high school garage bands. These commercials are so bad that I have to watch them every time. It's kinda like rubber-necking at a bad accident. View it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iTQpX--WRz0 Grade C+

 John Morrell

 

This ad features Carson Palmer shoving hot dogs into his mouth and asking us all to "go long". Carson lost about a million cool points in my book with this ad. Aren't Heisman trophy winning QBs from USC supposed to rule the club scene and chases after models in their free time. Matt Leinart has no trouble with this. After seeing this nerdy commercial I can only imagine Carson spends his down time huddled in his basement with a group of off duty Geek Squad members playing Dungeons and Dragons.  I don't recommend watching this commercial, but if you insist here is the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qui334kzeTE  Grade: F

Gold Star Chili

 

Buckra asked us to get lost in the taste of Gold Star Chili Burritos. In 2007 this commercial was played multiple times during Reds games. This spot featured lyrics such as "The day is tragic; I got to have it" and "Give me a burrito to get me on my feet-o."... This band will never win a grammy. The lyrics are terrible and the vocals are worse. However the music is kinda catchy and I love Cincinnati chili. Here is the commercial: http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&VideoID=7517459 Grade: B-

 Big Red Smokeys

I couldn't find an audio clip, but any true Reds fan that followed the team in the 80's knows what I am talking about. Here is the jingle as I remember it. (If I goofed up any of the lyrics please drop me a line and I will correct it."

 I'm a big Red Smokey till you put me on a bun; then I'm a hotdog.

On the grill hear me sizzle every man and woman giggle;

People love my hearty taste, you can take me any place;

Like a picnic, a ballpark ,even in your back yard

Serve me up and savor that smoke sausage flavor....

I'm a big Red Smokey till you put me on a bun; then I'm a hotdog!!

 

The product itself is named after the greatest sports team in Cincinnati history: The Big Red Machine. This classic jingle and cartoon was played on the Riverfront Stadium scoreboard for many years. This is the gold standard of jingles! Grade: A+

Vote for your favorite

 

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Tony got the shaft!

 

It was really cool seeing Tony Perez on FSN broadcast the other night. Every time I see Tony I can't help but think about how he got the shaft in 1993. Captain Leather Pants pulled the plug on Doggie only 44 games into his managerial career. ..He certainly deserved a chance to turn things around.

 

Here's something to think about...Dusty Baker so far this year and Tony's 1993 record.

 

Tony Perez 1993

Wins                Losses                          Winning %

20                    24                                .455

 

 

Dusty Baker 2008

Wins                Losses                          Winning %

18                    23                                .439

 

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